Sunday, October 28, 2012

Postpone Election, Mayor Says

(Associated Posers) – Richport, Maine – Although far outside of any danger zone from hurricane Sandy the incumbent mayor of Richport, Rodney Johnstone, is calling for elections to be post-poned for several weeks. “We will be getting heavy rains, possibly hail, for days. Roads will be flooded, trees will be down. People will not be able to reach polling locations”.

The mayor is polling several points behind challenger Henry Morgan who is already confident of a victory. He says the mayor's call for delaying the election is “a ridiculous attempt to buy time”.

Sandy, which is barely a hurricane won't be making landfall anywhere near Maine and definitely not as far north as Richport. The town residents have been taking the storm in stride, although local grocers have noticed a definite uptick in sales.

“People aren't stupid” grocery store manager Dan Wilkins said “While we don't expect anything too bad, we do know how to take care of ourselves. People weren't born yesterday.”

Columnist Andy Gernstein of the Richport-based Maine Voice says the idea of delaying the election is an attempt at an “October Surprise”. He says it won't work because Richport residents won't think they are in any real danger from Sandy. The editor and publisher of the Voice, Mathew Lockhardt, who supports the mayors re-election, agrees on this issue. “Yes, I admit this is ridiculous. I hope he isn't too serious, I hope the mayor was kidding really”.

Ann Tomlinson, leader of Occupy Richport, said “Not delaying the election in the face of this massive storm, this disaster, is tantamount to stealing the election. To try and deny this reality and expect people to come out and vote in the cold, driving rain is an attempt to keep the poor and minorities from voting. Not everyone can afford a coat”.

Tomlinson was also in the news recently when she got herself arrested for defecating on a Richport municipal police car and living in the copse of trees in the median of the main road through town.

“She's nuts” said Tom's Hardware owner Tom Dugan “She lived there, between those six trees for more than a month. She had homemade signs and said she was taking it to 'the man' and carrying signs and flashing traffic. It was hideous, she ain't much to look at”.

The office of the Maine Secretary of State declined an official comment. It did say they had no intention of delaying the election.


  1. How soon after the U.S. election will new anti-Muslim foreign and domestic policy and propaganda take affect? After he takes office or before?


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