Friday, October 26, 2012

GM Blames "Bias" for Lagging Sales, Revenue

(Associated Posers) – DETROIT – Some high-level executives are feeling down about some of the after-effects of the so-called “bailout”. They said they miscalculated public reaction in accepting the terms dictated from Washington.

“Apparently there is a bias in this country, very widespread, that people believe a business should earn its revenue by selling products or services” said one executive who requested anonymity “We were under the impression that once the people understood they were all part-owners of the company that they would take pride in it”.

Instead of rightly appreciating the government taking their money and buying up 25% of General Motors, many people were upset at having to prop-up a failing business. GM executives were totally caught off guard by the ridicule of them being called “Government Motors” and worse. Rather than taking pride that GM had taken its place alongside the Statue of Liberty and the Washington Monument as icons of the US, they were seen as corporate welfare hogs.

Since the bailout the company has shed costs by building vehicles in Mexico and other countries, ended production of some brands and closed dealerships. The company also continued to build the money-losing Chevy Volt because of the requirement of their new biggest shareholder-the government, despite bottom of the barrel sales.

“This bias that some Americans have is paradoxically hurting our effort to buy our stock back from the government. They are making it harder for us to undo what they dislike. Those who opposed to the bailout are the ones at fault for making this drag on” the unnamed official complained “These haters would rather by a second-hand Toyota or a Kia than a GM product and they are hurting the bottom line. We might need the government to solve this problem”

When asked what the government could do about consumer preferences the GM official pointed to the Supreme Court ruling that allowed government to mandate the purchase of health insurance, saying it could just as easily mandate the purchase of a car. The revenue from this forced sale could fund the giving away of vehicles to the poor.

“Being a part-owned by the government, like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac or the Postal Service might be a good solution, it would allow all kinds of interesting things to happen” he said, “We even have a sub-compact design that is environmentally friendly that could be built to give away to those too poor to buy a mandated vehicle”

The vehicle in question the Federally Approved Required Tract Rover, FART Rover, would not need to pass crash test or safety standards because semi-public GM could get those standards waived.

“We can dream up all kinds of ways to save this company” the GM official said “Unfortunately, this will only happen if the consumer bias against public ownership is overcome in this election. It won't happen if Mitt Romney wins, I think we all know that”

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