Friday, October 5, 2012

"Bully" Victim Inks New TV Deal

After becoming a nation-wide instant celebrity, La Crosse Wisconsin News Anchor Jennifer Livingston has inked a new television contract.

(Associated Posers) – LA CROSSE, Wisconsin – What started out as a woman's crusade to shame someone who wrote her an email reminding her of her weight has turned into a television show contract. Jennifer Livingston signed a deal with her employer WKTB, Channel 8, to do a daily segment where she will take e-mails and assassinate the character of the author.

“Move over Jerry Springer, TV just went there!” announces a new promo for the segment called 'Jennifer's Daily Fatwa'. The stations evening news director, and Jennifer's husband, Mike Thompson said he is an enthusiastic supporter of the concept.

After becoming an overnight celebrity for calling an e-mailer a “bully”, Jennifer Livingston said it was like living a dream. “Being famous for a day is pretty cool, usually I'm only noticed around La Crosse but now I've been seen all over the world”. The stations' Facebook as well as her own have filled up with supportive comments.

"What an AMAZING woman you are Jennifer!" viewer Felicia Nelson Koth chimed in. "I think you are excellent role model for everyone especially your girls."

The station promises the new segment will be hard hitting and sometimes gritty as Jennifer tells it like she sees it. Promo's have warned viewers to “reread their email before sending” and ask themselves 'what would Jennifer do?'

“Just keep your opinions to yourself” he told us “If you don't want to feel the pain of Jennifer's retribution!”

In the first segment aired last night a student at local Viterbo College complained that he thought a story they did about the military seemed unfair. “I am simply asking you to report fairly on the military, they aren't a bunch of armed crazies wanting to kill people, they are fighting for us, fighting and dying for us” - Daryl Holland, Viterbo University.

Jennifer got tough: “Listen up, Viterbo University. You and your Catholic college being one of the more military-friendly campuses in America is really a dark stain on La Crosse. Your cult is now brainwashing students to worship the military-industrial complex, this is beyond the pale. These poor, mostly minority soldiers probably couldn't get a job anywhere else in this racist country, but I guess the body count would bother a lily white ginger kid like you, right Daryl Holland? You are a brainwashed guppy caught in a tidal eddy on the wrong end of the gene pool, you poor besotted child. Your schools Chaplain Fr. Conrad Targonski has blood on his hands, and you want to lecture us on fairness? Oh whitey please...”

Jennifer's Daily Fatwa is immediately one of the more unique local programs in the country and looking through her email she says “It's a target rich environment out there”.

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