Thursday, November 15, 2012

Lemonade Mogul Targeted by Government Nannies

(Associated Posers) - Ganes, Idaho - April McAffee thought making and selling lemonade would be a good summer time business in the factory town of Ganes, Idaho. Her and some friends decided to corner the market and open locations all over town, word spread and antipation built. The local media had covered the event and even Mayor Valerie Jones said she planned to be at the opening of April's 4th street location.

"The kids said they wanted to do this to make a little money toward college and it just ballooned, the whole town was excited" Mayor Jones said.

The whole town had gotten in the mood for lemonade until the visits by IRS and OSHA investigators. They prodded the city and county attorneys not to ignore local ordinances on street side vendors, just because they were kids. Meanwhile the IRS began issuing citations concerning unpaid labor of children and their parents.

"Apparently all the hoopla, as far as the IRS agents was concerned, had turned this into a commercial business" The Mayor explained "They were also insisting that the city enforce ordinances that would regulate these lemonade stands".

City Attorney Reed Callahan told Associated Posers "We relunctantly agreed that it was not proper to exempt a business simply because it was run by children or because they were going to be temporary in nature."

Adult supporters covered the $165 temporary business permit fee while other regulations forced the kids to reduce the number of locations from two dozen to a half dozen. Portable refrigerators had to be used to please the county health standards, and this cost money as well. The number of her friends, family and schoolmates involved had to be lowered from more than a hundred to under fifty, or April McAffee would need to buy health insurance for her unpaid workforce, as per "Obamacare".

"These government officials have taken something fun that had the whole town excited about participating and made it a reminder to all what is wrong with this country" Mayor Jones said "This reflects badly on the city, the county and the federal government and how we relate to the citizens"

"We recieved complaints from local merchants concerned about the possible loss of business due to unfair competition" said the Chief IRS Officer in Idaho "Obviously government should not cater to one business at the expense of competitors, it creates an uneven playing field It is wrong to give one competitor an advantage in the market simply as a political favor, and it looked to us like Miss April McAffee has some friends in high places"

Meanwhile April McAffee was daunted by the task of filing the appropriate health and tax documents concerning where she obtained her supplies and how much was spent for them.

"I won't be able to make and sell lemonade for more than 28 hours a week or I'll have to buy health insurance" April said "I thought I was covered by dad's policy, but I was told this might not count if I was classified as self-employed"

This left her dispirited lemonade business idea abandoned. She appeared on the local city-owned cable channel with the mayor saying she might start a car wash as a charity. Within hours the local representatives of the EPA and the state Water Conservation Board began calling the mayor for more information.

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