Election Aftermath: Layoffs Coming

(Associated Posers) – Staten Island, NY - Hanna Dugaway stood in knee-deep water as she announced her vote for Barack Obama. A week after hurricane Sandy came through she is still waiting for FEMA to bring an MRE, “Meals Ready to Eat”.

“He looked very Presidential” she said “That is really the image I had when I voted, or maybe I was just close to starvation but the Democrats were giving food to their voters, so it was an easy choice”

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The aftermath of the re-election of President Barack Obama was immediate as dozens of companies announced large-scale layoffs. Restaurant chains like Red Lobster and Olive Garden announced plans to only hire part-time workers for less than 30 hours a week. A solar glass company in Las Vegas employing 114 announced it was letting 22 people go.

“It no longer makes any economic sense to expand or hire more employees” said the CEO, David Charleston “It costs less to hire two part-timers for 30 hours each than one person for 40 hours because of these new rules”

Companies from Medtronics to Boeing announced layoffs on or after Election Day. Chrysler-Jeep is seriously considering moving operations to Europe and Asia. The United States has the highest corporate taxes on the planet, analysts said, add on the harsh regulatory environment and unpredictability of the government policies and it is not a good place to do business.

Also announced were new coal restrictions that could lead to much higher electricity prices. “It's an indirect tax on the people of this country, government making the prices of everything go up”

Meanwhile at the end of the year the “Bush tax cuts” expire and if they are not renewed the lowest tax bracket could see rates go from 10 to 15%.

“I guess the liberals in this country now see someone making $35,000 a year as filthy rich” said a GOP advisor sarcastically “All you hear about is taxes on the wealthy, but do other people not pay for gas or electricity or food? The Presidents policies are making the prices of those items increase enormously while it will soon be hard to find a job. Don't worry though, if you can't buy health insurance, you'll just have to pay a fine.”

“Apparently, the President won re-election because women decided that someone else should pay for their birth control pills” said Election Data Analysis head Autumn Greenberg “The pills you can get for $9 a month at Wal-Mart are too expensive for them? Do they not think that skyrocketing prices, falling incomes and no full time employment might also be pretty expensive?”