Fast Food Workers demanding Unemployment?

(Associated Posers) - Kansas City, Mo. - A crowd of demonstrators descended upon McDonald's locations in Kansas City, Mo. And other cities across the country demanding their wages be raised to $15 an hour.

“We can't survive on $8.25” said Rhodonda Shaniqua “MooMoo” Johnson “I can't afford my shoes”

A left-wing research organization claims that doubling the pay of employees would only add 68 cents to the price of a Big Mac. Observers warn, though, that if the salary is increased it will lead to more automation, fewer employees working at each location and lower sales.

“A lot of people might try to make a burger at home, they are likely to find out how much better it tastes when you make it yourself” said a customer.

“I’m barely making it, barely” said McDonald’s employee Jamiya Little, still chanting under a soaked red slicker. “I’m late on car payments. I’m late on late on everything. This is not enough.”

One franchise-owner, requesting anonymity had this to say “If we were paying $15 an hour, these people would be the last ones we would hire. There would be a lot better group of better to choose from and these people have no skills, they have no education, it is always a crap shoot if they show up on time or rob the till on the way out. If these people got their way, they'd be unemployed!”

Many of those picketing and demonstrating were not even employees.

The previous day, the group STL Can’t Survive on $7.25 – the minimum wage in Missouri – protested at several fast-food restaurants, including a McDonald’s in Ferguson.  Those employees that did choose to work Tuesday morning, instead of strike, got a start to their shift with a little bit of help from the East St. Louis Police. “We tried to get some of the employees to join us.  We need all the help we can get,” said McDonald’s employee Joseph Ryan.  He said he worked in nearby Belleville.  “They were afraid of losing their jobs.  It’s understandable.”

Girl suspended after refusing to shower with boys

(Associated Posers) - Bellam, Massachusetts – When the new law on transgendered rights in schools was passed, 14-year old Hannah Johnson didn't think it would affect her too much. Just let people do what they want, isn't that what it was about?

That changed after PE class when she was getting ready to get into the showers and spotted a boy undressed in the locker room with her. “I was a bit shocked” she admitted “Since there was just one period to go, I decided to skip the shower. I am not going to shower with boys at school”

It was when Hannah complained to Principal Haram Reese Nelson, that things took a turn she had not expected. She explained that regular boys were pretending to be trannies to get into the girl facilities, because saying so was all they had to do. “They know their parents won't be told, they know they don't have to wear a dress or anything”.

“I was told that I had no choice” Hannah said “I was speechless”

The Superintendent of the Bellam School District said the new law was very clear in the matter “All student must affirm the transgendered. This student did not just fail to address the student as a girl, the chosen gender, but refused to use the facilities with the student in question. We had little choice but to suspend the student for 3 days and request a psychological evaluation.”

Hannah's mother Jessica Johnson was surprised by the suspension and outraged by the psychological evaluation. “My daughter is more sane than they are, they are the ones who are mentally ill”. She tried to get her daughter excused from sharing bathroom, lockers and showers with male students who deemed themselves transgendered but was shot down.

After that meeting with the principal the police showed up and escorted Jessica Johnson and her husband Hank away. “I wasn't even told where they were taken” Hannah said “but I was told that Child Protective Services are investigating whether my parents are unfit.”

Hannah convinced an uncle to file a complaint with the local court, but to no avail.

After the suspension was lifted, Hannah went back to school but waited outside in the hall until a transgender student had finished before she entered. This was seen by a teacher and the next thing Hannah knew she was being escorted out of the school in handcuffs. She was soon charged with a “hate crime” violation for failing to affirm the status of the transgender students.

“They are faking it” A tearful Hannah said “Half the boys in school were planning to declare themselves trannies because they wanted to shower with the girls, it's a huge ridiculous joke. You have boy parts you use the boy facilities that were made for it, it's not hard to understand”

Meanwhile her parents Jessica and Hank Johnson have appeared before the school board offering a written apology for their and their daughters behavior.

“We just want to put this whole thing behind us” Hank said “Including this whole state”

Sequester hits US, demonstrations rock Portugal

Hundred thousand march against Austerity in Portugal rally

(Associated Posers) – LISBON, Portugal – Up to a half million demonstrators in Lisbon and cities across Portugal rallied against a Eurozone bailout of more than $103 Billion. Portugal is to cut its deficit to 4.5% of GDP this year, a target that might not be reachable with an economy set to contract by two percent.

The march included groups of teachers, healthcare workers and pensioners who have been especially hard hit by the budget cuts.

After cutting salaries and pension benefits in 2012, the government this year has declared a general tax increase and expects to impose further cuts of some four billion euros.

“We do not accept the math. We refuse to concede that our country cannot run massive deficits forever without adverse effects” said one of the leaders of the massive demonstration. “The enemy today is a government bent on 'living within its means' and the internationalists offering this bailout package! We do not need or want it, we must keep spending at all costs!”

"This demonstration is a clear sign that 'the troika' and the government are not wanted in this country," said Joao Semedo, the leader of a far-left bloc. “We reject this reality and will live in our own”.

A banner held aloft at the march showed a picture of Prime Minister Pedro Passos Coelho with the caption: "Today I am in the street, tomorrow it will be you."

Sequestor comes to America

President Obama signed the orders to make cuts in the budget amounting to less than two percent of the annual federal budget. He must find cuts of about $22 billion in the $3.8 trillion the federal government was set to spend before the end of the fiscal year in October.

After weeks and months of dire warnings from the government that were highlighted by the media, no deal could be reached with the opposition Republicans despite a heated, grueling 7-minute meeting with Congressional leaders before he took a golf vacation.

Republicans accuse the White House of over-exaggerating the spending cuts, which they point out is simply a reduction in the rate of growth. “Saying that planes will fall out of the sky, that women and children will be thrown in the streets, that police and fire departments and schools will close was all nothing more than scare tactics of the dirtiest kind.” said Congressman Pwn of Tennessee.

Meanwhile Representative Maxine Waters said that sequestration would cause “170 million” Americans to lose their jobs.

The Washington DC school district is set to lose as much as 0.006% of it's funding and schools in Virginia might lose upwards of 0.02%.

“These massive draconian cuts will lave our children behind” said liberal commentator Piers Morgan to his 80,000 or so viewers.

State of the Union Preview

(Associated Posers) - Washington DC -What will President Barack Obama speak to the nation about during the State of the Union Speech on Tuesday night?

Economy: He will take credit for anything and everything and forget to mention that the last 5 years have been the worst 5-year period since the Great Depression. He will announce more of the same kind of policies that brought us to this situation. More funding for unproductive “green” projects, more handouts to favored corporations, higher taxes (punishment) on those who work and more giveaways (rewards) to those that don't.

The policies of President Obama are driving companies to make large layoffs, reducing working hours, slashing benefits and raise their prices. The result is a more sluggish economy that actually shrank in the last quarter of 2012 (even by the massaged official numbers).

Guns: The bogeyman of the moment because of the media attention after the Newtown massacre, where they refused to focus on the killers' mental state and his liberal ideals. The President will also not mention the recent police shootings on innocent people. Instead he will talk about accidental shootings while ignoring the much more common occurrences of armed self-defense that stopped a crime before it happened.

On this issue the President could hail the support of ex-cop Chris Dorner who is the object of an intensive manhunt in California after killing 3 people, including a cop and the daughter/fiance of another cop and Jerome McCorry, a convicted rapist who now heads protests against civilian ownership of guns. They are bad for his beloved hobby, I suppose. I have a feeling he won't highlight their support of his policies.

Foreign Affairs: This, if it is mentioned at all, might be a very short segment. The successes of this administration in the international arena are close to nil. Meanwhile terrorists are winning all over the planet, from Libya-where 4 Americans, including the US Ambassador, were murdered. Also China is feeling its oats as it rattles its sabers and stocks up on food supplies as if they might actually wage a real conflict with Japan over the Senkaku Islands.

Meanwhile the US military is cutting back on power projection in the middle east and bending over backward not to offend China. North Korea lobbed something into orbit, meaning it could possibly send nuclear weapons into space soon. No one really expects this administration to take these events seriously. They do however, want to send dozens of fighter jets and 200 advanced tanks to the radical Hamas-controlled government of Egypt.

Whatever he talks about the fact is clear, this country and our situation with respect to the rest of the world is worse off. His policies are making them worse. He is not going to change his policies, instead he will offer up more of the same.

Venezuela looters jockey for power

(Associated Posers) - CARACAS, Venezuela- As dictator of more than 14 years remains silent on his deathbed, no word from him in 58 days, two of his top henchmen were competing for power. (Fake) Vice President Nicolas Marduro issuing decrees “signed by Hugo Chavez” that are obviously not signed by the dying strongman. Meanwhile the President of the National Assembly is holding public show trials and issuing verdicts of his enemies to secure his power.

Venezuela remains a looter state, a land where the incompetent rule because nobody is better than anyone else. This the reason that the state oil company fired 22,000 technicians in 2003 while their employment numbers swelled by a factor of 3 with inexperienced, politically motivated “jobs”. While oil output is two-thirds of what it could be if they had followed their original plan, global oil prices swelled the national treasury but the debt has skyrocketed as politically-oriented budgeting and massive inefficiency has weighed down the economy.

This is also the reason that someone as inexperienced and incompetent as Iris Varela can become Ministers for Prisons, and keep her job even after a débâcle like the Uribana Prison tragedy where a simple sweep for weapons resulted in 58-61 dead. Varela blamed the violence on Globovision announcing the search when in fact it was the head of the prison that told Globovision.

Varela quickly ruled that the National Guard had not abused the prisoners but also decided to close the prison and relocate prisoners to other overcrowded facilities. She and every other Chavista running the government refuse any responsibility over their actions, and she continues to hold her job.

After 14 years of mismanagement, nationalizations, handouts to supporters and where every decision was political and enemies of all kinds blamed for the fall-out, the country remains in the hands of the Chavista's. No one is better off. The electric system is falling apart as funds for upkeep and expansion were squandered on projects that had propaganda value.

Everything from a car factory, satellite launch to opening of government grocery stores were used by Hugo Chavez to present a giant image, then those things were always ignored when they failed to produce the promised results. Every industry that was nationalized saw production drop, from steel to coffee etc. The banking system is a joke, with tight controls on exchange rates that make no economic sense. They shut down opposition media outlets and bullied the few that remained into subservience, giving the Chavistas undisputed control of the airwaves.

Today, Hugo Chavez is dead in all but name and his top two cohorts are fighting over the carcass of Caracas. The looting continues and will continue until the final chapter of this sad story ends.

True Horror Story Behind Rudolph Revealed

You heard the story: "Then one foggy Christmas Eve"... Santa asked Rudolph to guide his sleigh. What they don't tell you is that it really was just one and only one, Christmas Eve. Afterward Santa took delivery of a highly advanced, nuclear-powered sleigh delivery vehicle.

This is the inside word from of the reindeer involved, Blitzen.

"This solved all the problems Santa had of course, the problem is that all of us reindeer were out of a job.

Once Rudolph had broken tradition, all the traditions were thrown out. Elf magic was augmented by GPS navigation and on-board radar. His old-fashion spectacles were replaced with helmet-mounted night-vision HUD."

Blitzen says this was the beginning of the end for the North Pole Reigndeer Squad "Santa had always wanted to deliver in North Korea. It's hard not to have sympathy for the people in a prison state like that. The problem was it wasn't on the route, he tasked us reindeer to scout it one year, so that he could add it to the next years' itinerary."

"When the time came we all flew in formation, high enough to see the Yalu River from above Seoul. We're reindeer, so North Korean radar couldn't possibly pick us up. We didn't realize at the time that Rudolph was lit up like an AWACS. That nose."

"We didn't realize until Donner exploded and fell into the darkness below. A Chinese-built copy of the Russian 9K22 Tunguska firing SA-19 missiles had taken him out. We scrambled and dived low. Rudolph tried to turn his nose off, but he was panicky and couldn't control it."

Blitzen broke down at this point. "We lost a lot of good reindeer that night. Not just Donner but Dasher, Dancer and Vixen. Vixen, she was my good friend. It was a disaster from the get-go. I ordered Rudolph to head at top speed north to the Yalu River into China while we all went to the northeast towards the ocean passing Wonsan".

"It was bad. Donner went down near Sariwon, we heard later that Kim Jong-eun ate a dinner of reindeer steak to gloat in his victory. Just disgusting. Vixen went down around Anju as we were taking evasive action."

"Rudolph? I was real sore with him for a long time, but we never heard from him again. There were reports of a shoot-down near Kanggye but they were unconfirmed. I think Rudolph went into hiding, I mean, I don't blame him."

"The North Pole Reindeer Squad was officially disbanded. We are all officially unemployed or retired. Sure, elves clean the stalls and feed us 3 squares a day but it's not the same as being out there. I really miss those guys, especially Vixen of course. They went down in action, they died heroes. The rest of us old reindeer will just die old and gamey"

"Well, that is the real story of what happened. I wish it was jollier"

Deny Obama A Participation Trophy

(Associated Posers) – WASHINGTON DC – The moderate Republicans who look for any excuse, no matter how flimsy to join the Democrats on any issue are “troubled” by the inability of Susan Rice and this administration to offer a reason to forget about Benghazi. This administration does not care to attempt to offer any plausible reasoning for its bald-faced lies to the American people for two weeks after the terrorist strike against the US mission in Benghazi, Egypt.

Immediately after the terrorist attack this administration attempted to place the blame on a youtube video for “inflaming” Muslims and said that a protest against the video got out of hand and turned violent. Now we know that this President was told within a day or two that there was no protest against the video. Indeed, he was told straight up that this was a planned and executed terror strike.

So why did this administration and their media minions continue to trot out the lie that this had something to do with an online video? Why did Susan Rice get the order to appear on the Sunday morning talk shows to blame the video instead of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton? Did Hillary refuse to do the lying that Susan Rice was all too happy to do?

While the President blamed a video, even standing in front of the United Nations declaring “the future does not belong to those who blaspheme Islam”, he knew and had known the truth for weeks.

White House spokesperson Jay Carney said today that the President is “not particularly concerned” about whether or not Susan Rice mislead the American people.

He also doesn't seemed to concerned about a lot of things. He seems to believe that showing up and giving a speech will solve problems. Like the devastation that Sandy left behind in New York and New Jersey. It has been nearly a month and many people still wait for the “immediate help” they were promised.

It's okay. He was given a participation trophy for showing up. Governor Chris Christie and NYC Mayor Bloomberg lavished him with praise for his “response to the storm” before he had done anything more than show up for an hour and make a speech.

That is also how he got his Nobel Award. He didn't have to actually do anything to “earn” that, he just showed up. It was sort of like a Nobel Participation Trophy.

When it comes to the so-called “fiscal cliff” which is a euphemism for “holy crap, we can't afford this, let's pretend to fix this” he will doubtlessly show up and demand a trophy. He won't actually do a thing to fix the economic problems that his policies are making worse, but he will give a speech and look to be lavished with praise as if he had.

It is long past time to take off the training wheels and for the media to actually get interested in making this President act like a grown up. It is high time for the press to stop handing out those daily certificates of merits and little gold stars to this White House for simply being present. It is high time those Republicans in Congress who still have a spine stand up and say it like it is.

“No More Trophies for Showing Up!!”

Soy Ice Cream Shop Shuts Down

(Associated Posers) -EAST VILLAGE, New York City-The shop was called "Stogo" which meant "Soy To Go". They made ice cream out of all natural, non-dairy, gluten-free ingredients like soy and hemp. The store location was on fashionable Second Avenue in the East Village.

"We are all lactose intolerant and vegan" said customer Diega Rodriguez "I'm sad to see it go, I just don't see how it failed really"

Owner Juni Ishimori wouldn't admit to how much the rent is in the high-rent neighborhood but said that sales were up before Sandy hit. "That pretty much killed the business" she said "Customers just stopped coming".

October was a good month, with higher than expected sales, but the shop still could not afford to pay the rent. "Sandy was the last nail in the coffin" Ishimori admitted. So, no more Soycolate Toffee Deluxe, no more Hempside Hammer, no more Melamine-Free Melon Cream, Milkless Berry Boobs and no more No Nut Nutty Nabobs for the customers.

"Often customers would just come by to say hello" Junie Ishimori said, trying to look cheerful but with a look that expressed the idea that saying hello didn't add a penny to the bottom line. "My back up plan is a lesbian coffee shop in the Bronx" she said "We won't charge, we'll let the customers decide how much it was worth"

"This is much more important than Twinkies" she said "I just don't understand how we could fail. We got huge debts, haven't the politicians always said that debt creates jobs? Well, here are nine more jobs that vanished. Apparently spending money you don't have isn't very stimulating at all"

After catching her breath she decides to take a different tack. "I blame Sandy. Sure we couldn't pay the rent in October, sure it made no sense to have nine employees with my customer base, but I'll blame the storm if anyone asks. I'll not sound unpatriotic to President Obama."

Detroit Urban Renewal "Impossible"

(Associated Posers) - DETROIT, Michigan - Large portions of the city are abandoned, many large buildings are delapidated and not worth repairing according to a report from Coopers & Lie-brand Consulting. The city of Detroit faces a bleak future as its population dwindles, as does it's tax base.

"It's a death spiral" said Urban Planner Douglas Spikes "Nobody wants to admit or talk about it, not the Mayor, not the City Council".

Flashy television commercials and half-time concerts at Detroit Lions games don't change the fact that the city that has fallen so far from its heyday in the 1920's is not finished falling yet.

"General Motors and Chrysler got massive bailouts from the federal government, but both companies are cutting back production in this country, especially this city" said one financial analyst "It is not a good idea to put all your eggs in one basket, and the result is obvious"

Large parts of the city are almost completely vacant but instead of trying to repair and upgrade existing buildings, some want to build new condo's out of shipping containers.

Angela Morse, a nurse at Detroit Central Hospital says "It's like something out of a horror movie. Imagine living in shipping containers while one of the worlds great cities literally crumbles around you".

"The city is broke" said City Financial Analyst Ted Stephens "We might be able to save money by turning off street lights and cutting back police patrols and fire department protection but the fact is even those marginal things are tough to do with a unionized workforce"

While the school system considers paying parents to come and pick up report cards or paying kids to show up, they also want to have welfare benefits cut off from those families who are truant. "It's a real carrot and stick approach. It probably sounds extreme to most Americans, but in this city extreme is the only way to be noticed" said school counselor Meghan Williams.

Douglas Spikes answers calls for "urban renewal" by saying "In this city, urban renewal means razing entire blocks and leaving them vacant. In this city urban renewal means abandoning entire neighborhoods to lawless gangs and low-lifes. Anyone thinking we can repair these problems without making this city attractive to private investment again is delusional"

"The money just isn't there yet there is a very organized resistance to any kind of logical reforms.." by which Douglas Spikes refers to the Michign Welfare Rights Organization that is fighting tooth and nail to keep residents from paying the going rate for water service.

The MWRO acts as a clearinghouse for Detroit residents to keep recieving "all the welfare benefits they deserve". With it's own radio program on WHPR and a corps of activists the organization fights for every penny of welfare dollars from every source.

"Sooner or later the money is going to run out" Spikes says "and these people who are dependent on the system are going to be left to fend for themselves, yet will be the least able to do so. If you think supporting yourself and your family is filling out welfare forms, how are you going to find food when there is none"